Summary
- Be cautious as someone might be using AI chatbots to reply to you.
- AI chatbots can assist with conversation responses, potentially improving accuracy.
- Use of AI raises privacy concerns and may change dynamics in relationships.
It can feel a little daunting to try out online dating. While there are plenty of success stories (my own included), there are even more horror stories. It can feel like there’s an endless abyss out there of people who just aren’t right for you, and they are the ones that you keep getting paired with. Wasting time getting to know someone through messages on a dating app only to find out that they aren’t at all as interesting as they made themselves out to be is incredibly frustrating.
It would almost be worth it to be able to weed out the ones that aren’t right for you, even if you are impressed by their profile. Yes, it’s easy enough to spot people that you aren’t attracted to or ones that you think are pretentious, based on their profile information and photos. The harder task comes after you’re linked on the apps and start chatting. In theory, they want the same thing as you and that’s a meaningful relationship.
While the right match for you may seem like they are never going to be found, there is still hope. Truly getting to know someone is the best way to understand if a relationship can move forward. But as I recently witnessed, it is distinctly possible that the person you’re messaging with is not coming up with their actual human answers to your questions. You could be falling in love with a large language model.
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- OS
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iOS, Android, macOS, Windows
- App
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Free, with in-app purchases
It could be someone just wanting some help
That’s what I witnessed at least
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The situation I witnessed recently involved a group of guys hanging out and one of them opening up his dating app to look at the current conversations he was having with a few girls. As the rest of us were chatting, he was trying to come up with the perfect answer to a selfie that one of the girls had sent him. He showed us the photo the girl sent and said “what should I say back to her?”
After pondering it over for a second, the group of guys all gave him different answers. Some said to compliment her eyes. Others said to try and set up a date. The more responses that came in to the guy, the less sure he seemed about what to say. He retreated to his phone and didn’t really say much for a little, as we were about to order dinner and the rest of us went back to focusing on that. A little while later, someone followed up with him to see what he had said.
This wasn’t the first time this guy had done this with someone from a dating app. He confirmed he did it frequently.
He told us that he’d typed “how to speak to women” into ChatGPT and had sent the girl one of the responses that the chatbot had suggested. Many of us were shocked to hear this, but as I sat with it some more, it had me thinking this was probably a very common thing.
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What benefits does this actually give?
It makes it easier to give answers
Pocket-lint / Microsoft
If you are just interested in moving a conversation forward, this is an easy thing to do to net results that aren’t objectively bad. They might come back with some relatively cheesy lines, but you could definitely come up with worse lines. This benefits anybody who is in the decision I suggested above: a person can’t think of a good comeback to something said by the other person, and they ask for some pointers.
People are going to be using ChatGPT, Google Gemini, or Microsoft Copilot for more and more tasks throughout the day / week / months. They are useful tools to help you get things done in a quick manner. Why not use them in all of your personal activities?
Strangely, the more people do this, the better the large language models and chatbots will get at answering prompts like these. In the long run, it may very well be able to give more complex answers than what the chatbot offered to the guy I know, which was along the lines of complimenting her looks (which was something someone had suggested in our group.) It cuts the corners of actually having to come up with unique lines specific to the situations themselves. This lets someone “converse” with many people in a faster way, potentially speeding up the chances you have of meeting someone special.
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The negatives outweigh the positive
That is, at least to me, they do
One thing that I immediately thought of was whether or not he took a screenshot and just fed the conversation he’d had with this girl into ChatGPT. This would have given the chatbot access to the conversation, giving it more information to pull from for future prompts and engagements. While this can give the chatbot more context with which to form an opinion and response to the prompt, it will also allow it to use the information going forward. This opens up things that the person thought might be private to have their responses used.
While AI will have problems replacing humans in certain aspects, making life easier for anyone who wants to speed up the process of researching something or coming up with something creative shouldn’t be punished or frowned upon. What is alarming is not trusting your own gut to come up with something to say or even just trusting friends to help you in a situation like that. It’ll be interesting if this is something that is mentioned when talking about online dating. It changes the dynamics of a relationship and, if the relationship progresses to in-person meetings, that LLM isn’t going to be sitting next to you on a date. But, people have to do what they think is best when it comes to their love life.
This is an advisory for anyone on the other end of an awkwardly received message. Be cautious until you really know the person as your information could have been shared and your heart could be played with. I’m not here to give dating advice, just raise awareness. Good luck out there.
